Staying Sane While Raising Children

I am having a stressful day with my children. The younger two have fought and argued all day long. The oldest just got home and has managed to tick me off already and has retired to his room, pouting.

It's just another day in my household. Nothing unusual here. Some days I can take it all with hardly a blink of the eye. Then, on days like today, I seriously wonder what I was thinking having three children. Nothing new.

So, in an effort to make myself feel a little better, I found this list of things that each mother should know about how to stay sane while raising children. Apparently, I'm not the only one, and I'm sure I'm not the last.

1. With every New Year there is hope your child will decide not to pick his nose in public.

2. Vegetables are good for children, but so are fruits, so if your child will only eat one and not the other, it's OK. They will grow. The child will be fine. Don't bother yourself with a power struggle.

3. Once again, babies cry for no reason, that's their job. I mean what else is there for them to do when they're three months old?

4. It's great if your child is 2 and knows her ABCs. It doesn't mean anything in the long educational plan, though. It's just a song. So if your other child doesn't know them, relax. No one alphabetizes until third grade. He/she has time.

5. Hyperactivity can also be a sign of an intelligent child bored out of their mind. Think about it.

6. Babies do not need to be bathed every day. Keep that skin soft as long as possible.

7. A 9-year-old is an attitude waiting to happen. A 10-year-old is an attitude, and an 11-year-old knows how to play the attitude to her favor. A teen-ager is a total different being.

8. If a child is reading, whether it's comic books or "Moby Dick," he's reading — be happy.

9. A child cannot catch a cold from the cold. So if you are like me and have a daughter who goes out in sub-zero weather with only a sweat shirt and never gets sick, count yourself lucky and relax. Soon, enough, she'll discover fashionable jackets and then you'll begging for the old days.

10. Forget the "terrible twos" myth. Wait until they're 4 and have a vocabulary. There is no comparison.

11. If your child swears and it's at an appropriate time, like when they bang their head on a wall, give them the riot act about keeping those words to themselves, then smile, at least they aren't walking around saying swears for no reason. Could be worse.

12. Any stressful event could be worse. Relax and hope it won't be.

13. Low-riding, hip-hugging jeans are what every girl is wearing. Try to breathe and just make sure your daughter doesn't have her underwear showing.

14. Tell your teen-age daughter that bra straps are not meant to be seen. Ever!

15. It's really great when your toddler is potty-trained, but remember; now there's nothing between their bottoms and your favorite chair.

16. Your son is 13, and he likes Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. It's a mystery.

17. Girls can play football too.

18. When your daughter or son asks to dye their hair blue, let them. They'll figure out eventually how silly they look and beg to get the dye out. If not, maybe they're destined for salon work or a punk rock band. Both have some positive points.

19. I don't know why a 1-year-old wants to read books at 2 a.m. I just don't.

20. A dirty kid is a happy kid. Hands down.

21. No matter how cute that boy looks in a suit during the holidays, he'd rather be in sweats. Pack some.

22. No matter how many pounds you've gained during pregnancy, I've gained more. It's depressing.

23. Eight bags of jellybeans during Easter will cause extreme weight gain during pregnancy. Just a thought.

24. Nursing is hard work. You have to feed the baby all the time because breast milk digests quickly in the baby's tummy. Remember that so you'll be prepared for having an infant attached to you for a long time and it won't seem like such a surprise.

25. When dad watches the baby so you can go to the store, it's not baby-sitting.

26. You can go out and leave the baby with a baby-sitter before she turns 12. It's been done before with success.

27. Remember the good 'ol days of sleeping until 10 a.m. They're over. You have children.

28. Just because you have four children and you're not thinking about having a fifth, the pregnancy test does not lie. Oh dear.

29. Here's your mantra: "It's OK, it's OK. I'm going insane, but it's OK. Really, it's OK.

Liz Evans-Seguin writes from her home in Kennebunk, Maine.